Welcome Home, Nyanko!
by Zurelily
Summary: Love is like war: easy to begin, but difficult to end. - Nyanko x Natsume, one-sided? Tanuma x Natsume - DISCONTINUED
1. Welcome Home!

**A/N:** We are short of Natsume fics, dear fandom. I'd like to fix this problem, so please accept my first Natsume Yuujinchou fanfiction!

**Rating:** T (for now)

**Pairing:** Nyanko x Natsume (Nyanatsu)

**Warning:** If you don't like male x male, don't read it. _Please_.

/Happy 18th birthday to little me.../

* * *

''Natsume''

''Natsumeeee!!'' Nyanko exclaimed excitedly. Then he repeated for the third time, when he reached the boy, who squatted and welcomed him with a wide smile, and stroked his fluffy fur.

''I really missed you, Nyanko-sensei.'' He admitted. ''But where have you been? I was really worried – ''

''Oh, yeah?'' The spirit retorted, offended. ''It sure didn't seem like to me when you held that _other_ cat.''

''Other cat?''

Nyanko turned up his nose. ''You know... that slim one.''

The blonde laughed. ''Oh, it's staying at our place only for a couple of days. Now, don't be so hostile.''

''You! Don't you dare sugarcoat it...''

Natsume just laughed it off, and hugged the spirit close to him.

''I really did miss you, Sensei. It's hard to say, but I felt truly lonely when you were gone.''

''Nnnn... don't-you-dare-sugarcoat-it..." Nyanko purred.

But the spirit couldn't say anything else as he sank into the warmth of the embrace. His anger evaporated all at once, and he didn't want to let go. Not anymore.

He couldn't help but purr on account of the comfort he felt.

''I-idiot! Let me go already. Let me GO!'' He shouted, really embarrassed of himself.

After the boy obeyed, Nyanko hurried away on his soft paws.

''Hn. I'm not a mere cat, human.'' He added offhandedly, not looking back.

Natsume just smiled at that, and looked after him. Nyanko-sensei, his cat, his guardian, his... friend?

He wondered whether he could call the spirit his friend. He was sure that if he asked his sensei, he would say he was with him only because of the Book of Friends. But, on the other hand, he knew that the spirit cared for him and protected him on several occasions.

There was one thing he knew for sure – he didn't want Nyanko to disappear again.

* * *

Natsume was leaning against the wall, fixing the window. The little, fluffy cat was sleeping in the corner on a soft pillow. _Sensei's pillow. _– The boy would have thought, if he had been paying attention to the unfamiliar cat. But no, he was waiting for somebody else.

Although it was better than the day before, because he now knew the spirit would come back, he was still a bit uneasy.

_That Nyanko-sensei! He must be drunk by now... _He thought to himself and intently continued staring into space.

Standing motionlessly, he realized it was twilight too late. He let out a heavy sigh. _I can't believe I'm this worried... Why do I even care about his being late? He can come and go freely, for all I care._

Even still, he didn't move an inch, but waited.

The kitty now woke up and lazily yawned. It went up to the tense boy, and clinged to one of his legs. Natsume shivered at the unexpected contact.

''Oh, it's just you...''

He took the kitty in his lap and let it lick his face. ''You are really cute, aren't you?'' He laughed.

Natsume felt as if his tensness has subsided a bit. He stroked the cat's white fur and felt content hearing him purr.

He wanted to say something really badly, maybe because he was used to listening to Nyanko's rants, and no the surroundings were too solitary to his liking. It was only him and the kitty in the room now, the kitty, that won't say anything to him. At least not in a language he can understand.

That's right. Cats don't usually _say_ anything to their owner. They express their feelings and mediate their needs through touches and cries. _They don't speak. Cats don't speak. _Nobody would take a talking cat seriously, that's fur sure. Look, cats' bodies weren't invented so that they could speak. Nature didn't want them to speak, so they don't.

Nevertheless, there's at least one cat that can communicate with him like a real human. And that one cat just means more to him than any other cat, or all the cats in the world all together. So yes, Natsume takes this certain talking cat more seriously than normal ones.

_My dear mother in heaven... My thoughts are becoming more and more confused because of a speaking cat. _

Natsume sighed.

''Let's go eat, shall we?''

He ended his stupid thoughts with this one little sentence, and he wasn't surprised at all when he didn't receive an answer.

He entered the kitchen holding the fragile kitten close to his heart, so he could even hear its heartbeats.

''Takashi-kun" The landlady greeted him smiling, looking up from her cooking. ''I see you two get along well.''

Natsume just nodded, almost reluctantly.

''Oh, you don't look too happy."

The boy smiled. ''I'm fine, sorry to worry you. It's just that... I'm a bit worried about my cat, Nyanko."

She looked at him as if she understood him a little. ''I'm sure he will come back. He always looked as if he had a great time with you, Takashi-kun. Maybe he just needed some time alone."

''Some time... alone?''

''Oh dear, look what I'm saying!'' She laughed, a little embarrassed. ''Cats don't usually need some time alone, now do they?''

''No, I think you are right." He said. ''Even cats need some time alone sometimes, I'm quite sure. Thank you for pointing this out."

She just laughed again, confused.

''I'm home!'' Came a cheerful voice from the entrance, cutting off the conversation. They could here some noise from that direction through the noises of cooking, then, after some time the man entered the room.

''Dinner's ready in a minute, dear.'' The lady turned to her husband.

''Thank you.''

He sat down next to the boy, and let out a content sigh. ''It's always a relief sitting down to the dinner table.'' He smiled, then turned to the boy. ''Still no news about your cat?''

He just shook his head, but thought otherwise inwardly. _I wonder if I could call our little encounter 'news'. He has yet to make his appearance here, to be honest._

The dinner was nice, as usual, but he felt as if something was missing. His guardians seemed happy with him around, but this time he couldn't smile whole-heartedly. Yes, he did miss his gluttonous cat, because he was the first friend he had made here.

He left the table early and went back to his room. The door closed smoothly behind him.

The boy leaned against the cool wall again, and closed his eyes. He left the foreign cat behind, in the kitchen, so he could have a chance to be completely alone. Though he was sure it was having fun with the adults.

He didn't even bother to switch on the light, just stood there, thinking.

''Natsume''

He shuddered at the unexpected whisper.

A pair of glowing eyes pierced through the darkness of the room.

''Sensei!'' He let out a sigh of relief. ''Where have you been all this time? I thought you'd come back at last!''

''I'm here, aren't I? So don't you dare complain now!'' He sounded cheeky and impatient.

''You're drunk.'' Natsume stated dryly.

''I'm whaaat?''

The scorching eyes came closer. Nyanko jumped into his arms and snuggled up to him.

''You are drunk.'' Natsume repeated.

''No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not, I'm not, I'm telling you, you human!''

''Then why are you repeating it over and over?''

The cat drew even closer. ''Caress me,'' He ordered.

''...''

''Natsume.''

''I think you should really turn in now, Sensei...''

''Fool. A mere human can never command a great spirit such as _me_. Instead, it's _you_, who should obey _me_...''

Natsume decided to ignore his blabbering completely, and walked to the cat's pillow in the corner, without a word.

He squatted and tried to put him down, but Nyanko thought otherwise.

''You'd rather be with _him_ now, right? You haven't even missed me, but played with him instead, right? Don't you dare deny it, I could see you two getting on all too well!''

The boy blinked in surprise. ''Sensei, I seriously don't get what you're trying to - ''

He stopped when the cat, _his spirit cat_, licked his face for the first time. Ever.

He was now out of words.

Nyanko repeated the affectionate process. ''Don't say a word.'' He added in a low, serious voice. He transformed into his human male self, his voice now husky and full of lust in Natsume's ear.

The boy was suddenly pressed to the floor by the tall man.

Natsume moaned painfully at the sudden weight.

''I thought I told you not to say anything.''

Madara leaned even closer and looked into honey-coloured, perplexed eyes. Wet lips neared to the boy. Madara licked his face again... now in his human form. His disciple still couldn't say anything.

A rough tongue trailed down his cheek, moving closer to his lips.

''Sen – ''

...but he was cut off, when their lips met. It was obvious that Madara was determined enough to have his way with him, even if the boy didn't want anything from him at all.

Madara's hands tugged his honey-coloured hair, and pressed himself to the smaller body, almost painfully. _He is rough. _Natsume thought randomly, but he soon realized this wasn't the time to think about things like this.

A hot, hungry tongue licked the seam of his closed lips, waiting for some kind of permission to enter. Or rather, some _way_ to enter.

The man pulled on Natsume's hair. The boy painfully groaned, and quickly decided to grant his wish on account of the pain.

The two tongues collided in wet hotness, and Natsume submitted himself to the greedy tongue exploring in his mouth. He gave in the sensation and just let his mind be blown away. He let go of his remaining intelligent thoughts, and the heat soon became unbearable.

Madara groaned into the kiss, or rather, he almost purred, forgetting he was in his human male form. When the two bruised lips separated at last, and only a string of saliva connected them, the boy averted his eyes, cheeks pink with embaressment.

The man tensed. He stood up, and started for the window. His hands now gripped the curtain. Everything happened so fast, so unbelievably fast that Natsume could only blink in surprise and pant painfully.

The man froze for a moment.

''I'm sorry, Natsume.''

''Wait!'' The boy stopped him from disappearing into the now bottomless darkness of the night. His shout resonated the whole environment, slowly fading away, leaving a painful gap behind.

''I..." Cheeks still pink.

Madara stood there, showing his back to him, still not daring to face him. He wouldn't dare hope anything. It was obvious he had done something unforgivable, something that could never be forgiven. Something, that will change their relationship, something, that could, no, _will lead_ to problems.

Natsume finally caught his breath. He clenched his fists.

''You...'' But he still couldn't voice his thoughts.

''It's okay, Natsume.'' He shook his head.

''You don't have to say anything. Just... forget it, okay? Let's pretend, that..."

''No!"

His sentence was cut off by the angry shout of the shuddering boy.

''No! You can't decide everything by yourself! And what's that 'let's pretend'? What if I don't want to pretend?"

He kept talking, his bravery growing by word. He stepped closer to the man's back.

''You were gone for days, leaving me worried. You don't know what it feels like to be left behind and bearing all the burden left to you! I was so afraid I would... that I would..."

''I would lose you!" He exclaimed.

The spirit turned to him, eyes glowing with disbelief. ''Na-Natsume?''

''Would you just _shut up_ for once? It's my turn to speak now!''

He paused to catch his breath nevertheless.

''Please, continue." Madara asked him politely, positively shocked about how Natsume just spoke to him.

The boy's cheeks flushed again. He looked away.

''You say you will come home, and then you leave me worried again... While you most likely drink cheerfully with your spirit friends, not even thinking about me. About how I feel. You come home when you feel like it, you even skip dinner, and when you return at last, you are drunk and you even a-attack me..."

He stopped to give an accusing look.

Madara tried to apologize again, but Natsume stopped him with a glare.

''You jump onto me – '' He looked straight into Sensei's eyes. ''Only to leave me hanging again, not even asking for my opinion. Don't you think you should ask me what I think from time to time?''

They stood silent for a bit, staring at each other.

Before the pause became too awkward, Nyanko break the silence.

''So...'' He cleared his throat. ''Would you tell me what you think now, Natsume?''

The boy looked away, cheeks flushed again.

''D-don't drink from now on.''

The man looked puzzled.

''Your kiss tasted like alcohol..."

Sensei finally understood. He grinned madly.

''...and I don't like alcohol... Besides, I'm still a minor." Natsume explained.

That being said, he considered the conversation over.

* * *

**A/N**: First of all, thank you for reading! I decided to write this fic because I find Natsume's character really intriguing: I can't decide whether he's straight, homo, or bi (canonically!). That's because he's quite comfortable with some female _and_ male characters around, too. (You know I'm right.) If you ask me, I'd say he's bi, and when I say this, I mean canonically.

As for the pairing: I can hardly imagine Natsume with anybody else, but Nyanko, or rather, Madara. I know a lot of people say that Natsume will most likely end up with Nyanko's female form, but that's just not right in my opinion, and I'm pretty sure it will never happen. You might ask why. Well, first of all, Nyanko is a guy. Even if he transformed into his female form, he would still be ''just" a guy in a girl's body. I believe that Nyanko's transformation into a girl in the story serves as a humorous element only, and nothing more.

Phew, sorry about ranting so much, but I wanted to make this clear. I'm writing this fanfiction because I do believe Nyanko x Natsume has some basis.

Once again, thank you for reading, and read the next chapter too, if you have some time. Until next time. ~ Z


	2. Aftereffects

**A/N:** First of all, I'd like to apologize for being this late... Secondly, I'd like to thank all the people who read, reviewed, or favorited the first chapter. You all made me really happy and ashamed – for not advancing with chapter two – at the same time. Thank you so much! I hope from the bottom of my heart you'll enjoy this one, too. And if you don't, feel free to point out my mistakes! You can get hold of me at my lj, too.

I realized this fic is a 'slice of life' one, and so it might be a bit slow sometimes, but I don't want to rush things, and to be honest, this story _can't_ be rushed – it needs some depth, and yes, it might be a little sad at times, too. As for Nyanko, I must admit my favorite version of his male form is by Yana Goya. Check out her work, she's absolutely awesome, and believe me when I say she's the best Natsume fanartist to date. (Ah, her Nyanko x Natsume art...)

I rewatched the first season last week, and I must say it was awesome for the second time, too. I started watching season two, as well, and it's made of win.

That being said, please do enjoy!

**Rating:** T

**Pairing:** Nyanko x Natsume

**Warning:** If you don't like male x male, don't read it. _Please._

_Edit: Feel free to point out my typos! I'm trying really hard, but sometimes typos are inevitable... :( Thank you!  
_

* * *

Natsume Takashi was a good sleeper by nature. The kind of person who doesn't tend to wake up in the middle of the night because of the noises he heard, or on account of the storm raging on the other side of the thin windows. He had nightmares sometimes, too, but he could easily shake off the uneasiness the moment he awoke in the morning.

However, that night was different. It was clear the previous day had left a lasting impression on him, a kind of impression which couldn't be shrugged off easily. The previous day was something else, since unexpected things had happened so abruptly. He would have never thought Nyanko had been harboring such feelings for him.

He was dreaming. There was a speaking cat with fluffy fur in his dream; oh, how cute it was! If only he could have it... so that he can stroke its fur and keep it warm by hugging him close to his own heart whenever he can.

He slowly realized the cat was a bit bossy, always telling him what to do and telling him off from time to time. Still, it was kind of adorable, so he called it Nyanko-sensei – a bit embarrassing name it was, but it suited the cat undeniably well: Nyanko for the fluffiness and cuteness, and sensei for the bossy part of it.

Everything happened so fast, so unbearably fast. _It was only a dream_ – he would sigh after he had awoken. But now it was the only reality his mind would accept to be true.

One day, his cat didn't come home. Natsume looked for him, struggled to have him back, did everything he could. But Sensei would come back only if he felt like.

He was so relieved when his cat returned in the end, but was shocked when it transformed into a male.

A naked, adult male to boot.

It was then that the dream turned into a nightmare.

Sensei forced him down into the futon and kissed him vigorously. _A_ _Kiss_. Natsume's first kiss... When the man realized what he had done, he ran away. He disappeared in a flash, without a word.

And the boy's heart started to hurt. He wanted to tell the man it was okay, he wanted to shout he would have given his permission anyway. He wanted to tell him to come back. To him.

...Nyanko-sensei didn't come home the next day. Nor on the next after that. The boy – remaining loyal until the end – waited for the rest of his life, never giving up, nor giving in for anybody. He hoped from the bottom of his heart, or rather, he believed his Sensei would come back to him one day.

It was then that Natsume was startled out of his sleep. _What a horrible nightmare... _He let out a heavy sigh, and tried to get rid of the uneasiness. He told himself that Nyanko was beside him, but when he actually looked to his side, the cushion was empty with the cat gone.

He sat up abruptly and looked around the room for clues, desperately searching for his friend.

_There's no way he would be gone... right? _But the bitterness left by the nightmare still lingered in his mouth. He could no longer feel the warmth that usually filled the room when Sensei was around.

Natsume started to panic. He got up hastily and rushed to the window to open it. He leaned out of it to have a better view. His heart throbbed loudly in his chest on account of the fear he felt. He was almost sure the cat would be nowhere to be seen outside, but he wanted to make sure.

Nothing, as expected.

He sighed in disappointment.

However, at the exact same time, the door slowly opened behind him. He turned around to see who it was.

''Are you up, Natsume? I heard some noises..."

''Sen... Madara." He blushed, and wanted to look away so badly, but he couldn't. It was only then that he realized the man was naked, and naturally, he was naked yesterday, too. The only thing he was wearing was a golden bell hanging on a ribbon on his neck. Nevertheless, things happened so fast the previous day, and his feelings bound him too much to take note of that fact. He was just too preoccupied making up with Nyanko and trying to prevent him from leaving.

Madara stepped in and shut the door behind himself.

''I was afraid that you might have been... gone.'' Natsume's eyes were filled with worry, as he said that.

The man smiled at him. It was nothing like the smiles he had seen on his face so far. _This is not Nyanko, not my cat. – _he reminded himself. Even his aura was different, so much calmer, composed and soothing. He was an adult, after all, a mature person who's been through a lot of things. He seemed more than different than he was in his sometimes childish cat form.

''I was sitting outside of the room.''

''Why?''

''I was thinking.''

They fell silent. Madara was still standing, and Natsume wasn't sure whether he should offer him a seat, or not. Because Nyanko... no, Madara was at home. _No matter what form he takes, this is his home, too. _

A pair of honey-colored and a pair of amber eyes locked together in a mutual gaze.

Natsume realized how tall the man was; _he might be too tall to even enter doors without bowing his head_. His body was toned; all his muscles were visible. The boy was amazed how broad his shoulders were; none of the people he knew had such features. _It figures. _– he thought. _I wonder how many years did he spend fighting against other spirits to be as powerful as he is now. _It can't be easy to find one's way among spirits. Their world is a harsh one, and Natsume was painfully aware of that.

The man had long, white hair, which was unusually thick. It resembled the fur he had in his spirit form. His face seemed somehow young, but his expression was obviously a grown-up's – a bit strict, but attractive. The strictness might have been because of his piercing glance. Yes, his human male form was closer to his original one; he even had the crimson marks on his face.

The whole... spirit? human? ''being"? was surprising for the boy, not foreign at all, but peculiar. He remembered well how he had thought Natori-san was Nyanko in male form when they'd first met. But now he had to realize how wrong he was, Madara didn't look like his female form at all, which resembled his grandmother, anyway.

The man let the boy examine him without a word to his heart content. He stood still with his back straight.

''Did you expect something else? Something different?'' The man started at last.

''Why? Do I seem disappointed?''

''Let's see. You seem to be surprised, and a bit frightened, too, to be honest. I don't think I'm that dreadful, now am I? I won't bite you, I promise.''

With that, the tension eased at last, and they laughed together.

Madara sat down on the floor, and Natsume followed his example naturally. Things were back to normal, or so it seemed.

''I think we should have breakfast.'' Natsume suggested, as he realized how hungry he was. Last night he didn't eat much, since he was too worried about Nyanko and left the table early.

''I approve of this.'' Madara grinned, showing off his teeth, which were sharp, fang-like, and nicely white. They showed his healthiness and strength.

''But, you know... your form...'' The sentence was left hanging in the air.

They both know it would be impossible for Madara to stay in his current form, and sit down next to each other to eat. _Together. _Yes. Side by side, eating the same things, taken from the same bowl – as equal beings.

Natsume averted his eyes.

''I'm sorry..."

The man shook his head solemnly.

''Don't be. It's not your fault I'm not human.''

''But...'' The boy was desperately looking for a useful idea.

''That's it!'' He shrilled. ''I'll lend you some clothes, and I'll tell Tohko-san my friend came over for breakfast, and – '' He was talking fast, enthusiastically. Madara thought it was adorable how those honey-colored eyes were filled with vivacity.

However, he just shook his head again.

''I appreciate the thought, but you shouldn't worry about me. I'll transform right away.''

The boy looked puzzled.

''Why?''

''Because your offer is not necessary.''

''But why?'' The boy insisted.

''There are plenty of reasons.''

''...I still think we should try it."

The man let out a small sigh, but remained patient as he started explaining things to the boy.

''Think about it, Natsume. The one who does the laundry is Tohko-san, right?''

Natsume refused to understand. He remained stubbornly silent.

''She would know I'm wearing your clothes immediately.''

''But...!''

''Besides, what do you think she would say? Or think? A suspicious, adult man in your clothes barging in to have breakfast with her family.''

''That's not true at all! I don't think you are suspicious.''

''Well, she wouldn't think too highly of me. Just look at me, Natsume.''

''I...''

''I think you look really unique.'' He stated. ''And I want to eat with you.''

Nyanko smiled at him again, now with a genuine smile from his heart. ''Thank you, Natsume. We will think of something, I promise you.''

But the boy still didn't want to let go of the topic. He wanted to argue, he wanted to justify himself, to _win_ the argument. However, Madara transformed into his cat form in the blink of an eye, leaving no options for him.

The disappointment was clear on his face.

''That's not fair. I thought you promised you would listen to what I have to say?''

''Hmph.''

''Sensei, I'm...''

''Natsume!'' The cat cut into his words in his mewing voice. ''I'm hungry, let's go at last! I wonder what Tohko-san has prepared for me! I hope I'll get some – ''

''Please don't act as if nothing had happened.''

Nyanko's eyes narrowed.

''It's for your sake, Natsume. Please let me handle this now. I...''

The cat was looking for the suitable thing to say.

''You?''

''I don't want to cause you any trouble. And I already told you we'd figure it out, right?''

''Even still...'' It was obvious he still wasn't okay with the situation.

Nyanko was licking his paws, thinking.

''Let's see. Let's see.''

''Natsume! Why don't we go to Nanatsujiya for some sweet buns?''

''Don't try to evade the topic again!''

''Stuuupid Natsume!'' He narrowed his eyes again. ''I'll spell it out for you, then. Why don't we go out together for some sweet buns after breakfast. Side by side.''

''You mean...''

''Yeah. Both in human forms. Well, only if you're still willing to lend me some of your clothes.''

The boy's face shined up. ''Sensei!''

Nyanko smiled at him. ''Oh come on, don't be so ridiculously happy. I told you we'd figure out something, right? You should trust me more.''

''I'm sorry.''

''It's okay.''

Natsume shook his head. ''No, it's not. I mean I'm sorry about everything. I didn't want to shout at you for breaking the CD case, I didn't want to let you leave, I didn't want to... '' He sighed. ''The list is too long, I know. Everything is my fault. But most importantly, I should have... realized your feelings sooner.''

He blushed, and swiftly looked away.

Sensei narrowed his eyes.

''Humans. I can't understand you at all.'' He chuckled. ''But you know, I find you really adorable. Always asking for forgiveness, but never demanding apologies of others. You're too kind, Natsume.''

''You are always telling me that. But that's not true at all.''

''Hmph.''

They looked at each other, trying to figure out what the other might be thinking.

A muffled call came from the first floor. _''Breakfast is ready, Takashi-kun!''_

They both looked at the door, but neither moved. It was Nyanko who resumed the disrupted conversation.

''I wonder if you'll die trying to save somebody one day. Be it a human or a spirit.''

''Don't say such unpleasant things.'' Natsume frowned.

''It's not that unlikely, you know. You're always ready to sacrifice yourself. _For others_.''

Natsume thought about that for a moment.

''_Takashi-kun? Is something wrong?_'' Came Tohko-san's voice again from downstairs.

''I don't think it's a wrong thing to be ready to sacrifice yourself. After all, why would my life be different from any other? If I just look away, knowing I'd have been able to help... I don't think I could bear the thought I let somebody die. In vain...''

''Hmph.''

They could hear footsteps approaching. The door opened. Tohko-san stood there with a worried expression on her face.

''Are you okay, Takashi-kun? I got worried when you didn't answer my calls...''

''I'm sorry, Tohko-san. I'll go right away.''

The woman smiled at him warmly. ''Oh'' She just noticed the fat cat in front of the boy. ''Your cat is back, how nice! I was starting to worry about it...''

Natsume smiled at her.

''I made your favorite today, Takashi-kun. I hope you'll like it. And we'll give something delicious to Nyankichi, too!''

''Thank you, Tohko-san!''

With that, the woman left, and the door closed again.

''Ahh.''

Nyanko jumped into the boy's lap. ''She sure is nice... Now stroke my fur, Natsume. I really missed your services while I was gone, you know.''

''Sensei!''

''What?''

The boy put him down mercilessly. ''I have to dress up now, and _besides_, I'm not your servant, you know?''

''You meanie! I can't believe it was only minutes ago you wanted to eat together, no matter what''

''That's quite another thing.''

''Humans...''

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you for reading! I'd be really happy if you shared your thoughts on this chapter with me!

The next chapter will be about Natsume's and Nyanko's date. I'm really looking forward to it! Sorry if this chapter seemed a bit slow, or emotional, but every story is writing itself, so I can't help it. All I can do is hope it goes in the right direction. :)

As a side note, I'm preparing something good for Valentine's Day. It's a Nyanko x Natsume oneshot, but a kinky one at that, so it's unlikely I'll upload it to this account. For those who are interested, you'll find it on my lj. Thank you!


	3. Going Out

**A/N:** Why hello, guys! I'm happy to see you around, thank you for reading! As some of you might already know, my Nyanatsu Valentine's Day (lemon!) oneshot, **'I Love Teaching!'** is already up: you can find it on my lj. /And feel free to friend me on lj if you'd like to! I love meeting new people./

**I'm looking for a beta:** A nice reader offered to beta for me, but she might not have received my reply to her message, and since I was so busy I left it like that.... So I'm eager to find somebody now, because my stories could be much better with some help. Please contact me if you'd like to beta for this fic and / or my Nyanko x Natsume lj challenge. Thank you!

As for this chapter, please enjoy! :)

**Rating:** T

**Pairing:** Nyanko x Natsume

**Warning:** If you don't like male x male, don't read it. _Please._

* * *

_You always want to be the one to let go, because you are afraid of being_

_pushed away._

* * *

It was reassuring for Natsume to have discussed such important things with Madara; he came to see his side of the coin more or less in the end, but he still wasn't one hundred percent content with the outcome.

He was sitting by the table in the kitchen, waiting for Tohko-san to settle down at last.

''Oh, Nyankichi!'' Shigeru-san said as he entered the room with a pleasantly surprised look on his face. ''Where did you find him, Takashi-kun?"

Natsume pulled off a slightly bittersweet smile. ''He came back on his own.''

''I see.'' The man bent down to stroke the white, fluffy fur. Nyanko purred contently. ''Haha, how cute!''

''Just sit down already, dear.'' Tohko-san requested of him. "We have been waiting for you.''

''All right, all right.'' He did as he was told with a genuine smile on his face. Natsume was once again surprised at the feeling they gave off. It was obvious even by just looking at them they loved each other and matched each other well; their relationship seemed to be well-balanced. It was heart-warming, but somehow, Natsume couldn't all just be happy about it today.

_I envy them for this; being able to sit side by side and eating together…_

Nyanko jumped into his lap; eyes dangerously narrowing. It was as if he was trying to remind him of something. Natsume sighed, giving up. He stroked the cat's fur reluctantly.

The adults didn't notice anything, as they were talking about some insignificant topic cheerfully.

Nyanko's piercing gaze still didn't let go of the boy. _Remember what we talked about, Natsume. – _His eyes said.

''Takashi-kun? You look distracted. Is everything all right?''

Natsume looked up at her sharply. ''I... umm... I'm fine, thank you.''

''Are you sure?''

''Yes, thank you.'' He tried to smile to justify his statement.

''Itadakimasu'' He added politely. The adults didn't want to bother him with any more questions, so they dismissed the matter. They hoped the boy would tell them if something was wrong, after all… They followed Natsume's example and partook in the meal together.

Nyanko jumped down from the boy's lap, and went back to his own plate, placed on the floor. Natsume had to force himself not to look back at him. _I wonder why I had never thought this was wrong until now. He's no less than us, he might even be better than all the people I know... Why does he have to eat different food from a plate on the cold, dirty floor?_

He once again realized how cruel a race could be to another one, even if it wasn't intentional.

_It has to be unintentional_, he thought. Who was he mad at, then? Why was he bitter? Why did he realize the problem only now? Questions, more and more questions again; he might never solve them at all. Maybe he was just upset with himself for not doing more for Nyanko, for being incompetent to actually change things.

Said cat was watching him from the corner of his eyes in the meantime. He felt sorry for the boy for torturing himself over nothing; over facts he had already accepted and understood in the past.

_Humans and spirits don't differ much. One thing is exactly the same: they both look down on the other. Well, most of them, to be precise… There are always exceptions. _

Breakfast was almost over when Natsume turned to his guardians.

''Would it be a problem if I went out after this?'' He asked, too politely to Tohko-san's liking. She wished the boy would be a bit more relaxed and rebellious. He shouldn't be that reserved at the very least.

''Of course, Takashi-kun! You don't have to ask, you are free to choose what to do in your free time."

''We trust you, Takashi-kun.'' Shigeru-san added.

Natsume lightly blushed. ''T-thank you. You are too kind to me.''

He thanked the food quickly, and excused himself. Nyanko followed him back to his room.

''You should have stayed with them a bit longer.''

He didn't feel like responding at all.

''Soo...'' Nyanko started carefully.

Natsume stepped to his closet and started rummaging through his belongings. He didn't have much, but he never wanted more, so he considered himself a content person.

''So, Natsume.'' Nyanko resumed, but the boy was still ignoring him.

He got bored with that, so he transformed into his human form in a puff off smoke, and now a tall, naked man was standing behind the busy boy. '' – what will I be wearing?'' He whispered this to Natsume's ear directly, in a husky voice. It freaked out the boy, to say the least.

Natsume shivered. ''Nyan – Madara!''

''Please don't do this from now on!"

Madara laughed. ''Oh, it's so much fun teasing you...'' He plopped down on the still laid-out futon, and watched Natsume search.

''I'm not entirely sure these fill fit, but...'' The boy turned to him apologetically in the end, handing some garments to him.

''No, I'm sure it'll be okay.'' He smiled. ''I'm sorry about the trouble.''

''Not at all, it's me who... umm, you know.'' He cleared his throat. ''I'm sorry. I'll go wait outside while you change.''

Nyanko watched him leave the room, and narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. He shook his head discontentedly.

''It's not like he had to leave, but... let's get to it, shall we?''

It had been a long time since he last wore clothes, so it was kind of difficult to dress up, but he managed. When he was done, he called the boy back, and grinned, showing off his sharp teeth as he did so.

''Do I look fabulous, or do I look _fabulous_?''

Natsume tried to look serious, but couldn't hold his laugh. The clothes were visibly small for the man, so he had to practically squeeze himself into them; each of his muscles outlined under the clothes. The long, white hair and red markings on his face, accompanied by the tight, fitting clothing made him look like some sort of delinquent or model. He looked like somebody his guardians wouldn't want him to spend his time with. But don't judge a book by its cover, as the saying goes.

''I got hold of a pair of shoes for you, while you were changing. I hope they will fit, though…''

Nyanko took the shoes and fixed them curiously. ''They are Shigeru-san's.''

Natsume nodded uncomfortably. "I'm afraid my shoes wouldn't fit.''

''So basically you stole your guardian's shoes?''

The boy blushed wildly. ''No! I just… borrowed them, yes, I borrowed them and will give them back.''

''I see. You borrowed them.''

Natsume snapped. ''Fine, just make fun of me! You don't have to wear them if you don't want to, you know. I can take them back anytime!''

The man put the shoes down and stepped to the boy with a serious look on his face; he hugged him. ''I'm sorry, Natsume. I didn't want to mock you. It's just that… It's fun teasing you, I must admit. I know I shouldn't, and I promise I won't, okay?''

He ruffled the honey-colored hair gently.

Natsume relaxed in his arms. He awkwardly returned the hug, his hands clutching together on Madara's wide back. This touch was clearly linking back to their previous discussion. The boy had needed this for a long time now; Madara's warm, forgiving embrace. He felt as though nothing wrong or dangerous could reach him while the man was by his side. It was a warm, fuzzy feeling he didn't want to give up on.

''We will do something about it.'' The man said full of confidence, which wasn't at all unusual from him. ''Just leave it to me!''

Natsume nodded lightly. He separated from the man promptly, and averted his eyes. ''We should go now. I d-don't want Shigeru-san to notice his shoes are gone.''

Nyanko grinned cheekily. ''You don't wanna look like a thief, do you?'' He laughed heartily while attempting to put on the shoes. They didn't pinch as much as he had thought they would.

The boy watched him put them on clumsily and struggle with tying his shoelaces.

''You don't do this too often, now do you?'' He teased him. ''Now, let me help.''

''Hmph! I don't want any help from you, you brat.''

That attitude was so Nyanko, Natsume thought instantly. It made him smile widely. He kneeled down in front of the man, and took over gently before Madara could say anything. The man straightened up, and observed what the boy was doing.

''You do it like this, see?''

The boy explained and showed him patiently how to do it. As soon as he was done, Madara nodded enthusisastically. ''Wow! This is so much fun! Let me do it, too!''

He bent down and Natsume helped him untie the laces so that he could tie them himself. He concentrated on his task entirely, sticking out his tongue as he did so.

''No, no, you do it like this.'' Natsume placed his hand on Madara's and they did it together.

Nyanko acted like an excited child. "I did it! Natsume, I did it!''

The boy drew his hand away swiftly. ''Well done, Sensei."

Madara ruffled the boy's hair playfully. "Thanks."

Natsume just smiled at him again. ''But really, we should go at last. Take the coat and let's go.''

''I thought we would meet up on the street." The man said, puzzled.

''How come?''

''You told Tohko-san you'd go out. So why would you leave through the window?'

''Stuupid.'' Natsume imitated his Sensei's catchphrase he used often when he was in his cat form. "We are going together, right? And since you can't leave through the door, we are taking our leave through the window.''

''Natsume.'' The man sighed. ''Please stop acting like a child.''

''I'm insisting on this.'' He looked desperate.

Nyanko couldn't help but give in with a sigh. ''Humans… Stupid, but devoted humans.'' He put the coat on and followed the boy through the window.

* * *

It was kind of strange for Natsume to walk side by side with such a unique individual at first; fortunately it was Sunday and the streets were even emptier than usual, so they didn't have to tolarate people staring at them.

Nyanko – or to be precise, Madara – enjoyed walking in his human form very much. He was chattering away cheerfully; nothing bitter remained from their serious conversation, or the previous day's misunderstandings. So all was well.

Since it was nice outside, they decided it'd be best if they took a nice walk with sweet buns in their hands rather than sitting in. Madara hurled himself on the pastries immediately; they were still warm when Natsume handed them to him. They started walking aimlessly, chit-chatting about unimportant things; not bringing up anything severe.

In the end they sat down on the shore of the lake – their usual place – enjoying the sunshine. They remained silent for quite a while; both of them immersed in their own thoughts.

It was Nyanko who broke the far-stretching silence with a serious look on his face. The man even cleared his throat before speaking to emphasize what he wanted to say. Natsume made sure he would pay attention to each word the man would say.

''Are you gonna eat that?''

Natsume looked puzzled at first, than laughed. _I thought he was going to say something more… important._

''I don't think so.''

Nyanko's eyes shone up brightly. ''So does that mean I can have them?''

''Hmm, I wonder about that – '' He pulled a mysterious face.

Madara narrowed his eyes.

''You tease!''

''You deserve it, though. And by the way, I changed my mind.''

He bit into the sweet bun slowly, and made a content face. ''Mhmm, so good…''

Nyanko blinked, and couldn't say a word, just stared at the boy's mouth-level – biting into food and licking lips playfully is quite a thing to watch, after all... ''You – ''

''Ahh, so irresistibly sweet! Mhmm…"

Madara burst out laughing; he laughed so hard he almost shed a tear.

''P-please no more!''

Natsume tried really hard not to laugh, as he was still eating. Only half of the bun remained. ''And so, I'll now eat the remains all by myself –''

Nyanko slowly stopped laughing and grinned instead. ''Not so fast.''

He leant forward to the boy; it happened so fast Natsume couldn't follow on the situation – Madara bit into the other side of the sweet bun, so now they were sharing the food; their faces only inches apart.

The man winked at the boy, not being able to speak at the moment. Natsume wanted to say something, but obviously couldn't; he blushed prettily. _What am I doing, really?_

They were staring at each other for some time. Their mouths filled up with the sweet flavour of the bun, and the dough started to dissolve slowly. Natsume panicked; he was trying to figure out what to do next.

In the meantime, Nyanko started eating the bun, and his eyes told the boy to do the same. Natsume figured that would be okay; so they were eating silently and quickly, getting nearer and nearer to each other.

_How come I don't feel uneasy? _The boy asked himself.

He felt unusually excited for some reason; eating the pastry together was fun, and he was looking forward to what would happen next. The sweet bun didn't last long, though…

Nyanko cupped his face gently, and bent his head down to him. Their mouths finally met, lips slightly parting to grant entry to each other's tongue. It was much more different than the first time; Madara was gentle now, but firm and confident at the same time; he guided Natsume to put his hands around his neck, and pressed his chest to Natsume's.

The boy felt like he would melt into his arms; shuddering; his pulse high in the clouds. His whole body was screaming for more; he submitted himself to the man's will, all but copying him and trying hard to please him. He could all but wonder what Madara was thinking. One thing was for sure, though: he didn't know what the hell he was doing, making out with his_ cat_, no, making out with an _adult_, who was _male_, too. But he couldn't care less. The sensation was too much to give up on, no matter the consequences.

_Nyanko's – oh so nimble – tongue is swirling in my own mouth. _– Natsume noted lazily as if it was the most natural thing to make out with your pet. No, it wasn't – but seeing spirits isn't quite ordinary either, or is it?

Madara's soft, wet tongue, his sweet scent; the touch of his long, silky hair – everything about the man felt good. And Natsume didn't want to let go anymore.

The man was caressing his back slowly, while trying to press their bodies even closer. _It's gotten quite hot… - _Natsume thought mindlessly.

When the kiss came to an end, the boy didn't know what to do or what to say. Madara was still embracing him, not showing any signs of planning to let him go, smiling at him fondly.

Natsume was gasping for air. He looked away promptly, cheeks red with both excitement and embarrassment. ''I-I think maybe we should…''

''Yes?''

''Uh… go back?''

Madara grinned. ''Why so fast, Natsume? It's so nice outside.''

''You ate my bun.''

''Not quite. We _shared_ that bun, among other things…'' He winked teasingly.

Natsume turned red. ''Madara!''

The man laughed loudly, his fang-like teeth showing. "Sorry, sorry.''

The boy pushed him away firmly, and sticking his tongue out at the man, said ''No more buns for you… among other things.''

''Too bad I couldn't care less about sweet buns.'' Madara smiled. ''But nice tongue you have there, Natsume.''

With that, he pulled the boy back to his warm embrace, and kissed him long and hard. The boy once again felt the world disappear around him; he quickly forgot about everything. It was Madara who filled his mind; Madara and nobody else.

''Natsume.'' The man whispered when it ended. ''It might be best if I disappeared and left you, and – ''

''What?'' He cut in, panick building up in him.

'' – your life is already difficult enough as it is, but I don't care. I'll be selfish this time: can I stay by your side?''

Natsume blinked, realization kicking in. He smiled lightly. ''What a stupid question, Sensei. I'd be really sad if you left.''

''But I might not be able to restrain myself…'' He argued. ''And I get jealous easily, too.''

''I know that; you've made it quite obvious already.''

''Have I?''

He nodded. ''I don't mind, though.''

Nyanko caressed his cheeks lightly, causing Natsume to blush.

''You know…'' The man was all serious now. ''Being different from others is always more complicated than going with the crowd – and sometimes painful, too."

''I know.''

''Yes… I guess you do.'' The man smiled. ''But the thing you don't know is something I'd like to teach you: living through these times is easier if you have someone by your side. But – '' He smirked evilly. '' that doesn't mean I'll pass up on the yuujinchou. It's all mine if you die.''

Natsume pushed him away, again, frowning in displeasure. ''That last line was unnecessary.''

Madara laughed. ''I was just joking, sorry.''

Dark clouds started to cover the sun from man licked his mouth, and stated: ''It looks like rain. I guess we should head back now."

The boy nodded approvingly, and they started to slowly walk back. ''Too bad, though. I don't know when I'll be able to borrow Shigeru-san's shoes ag – '' He suddenly stopped, realization finally kicking in. He remembered the time when they went on that class fear contest in his school, and Nyanko took the form of a female…

Natsume looked at Nyanko menacingly. ''Sensei.''

''Y-yes, Natsume?'' He tried to suppress his snicker, but failed hard.

''How come you were wearing clothes when you transformed into your female form back then?''

The man tried to look innocent. ''How come you didn't remember this earlier…?''

''I'm SO going to kill you, you – !!''

Madara thought it would be best he ran for his life.

Natsume just couldn't believe he was deceived, again.

''I just wanted to see your reaction to my _fabulous_ body!'' Nyanko shouted back to his chaser. ''I'm sorry, but I can actually transform into whatever clothes I like – ''

Natsume sighed.

_What have I gotten myself into…?_

* * *

**A/N:** Aaand… done! **How did you like it?** Remember, your opinion is always welcome! How do you think the story should continue? (I already have something in mind, but do tell me what you think, because I might just change my mind.)

Once again, thank you for all your support! ~ Until next time, Zurelily


	4. Three's a Crowd

**Fandom:** Natsume Yuujinchou

**Pairing:** Nyanko x Natsume (Madara x Natsume), one-sided (?) Tanuma x Natsume

**Chapter Summary:** Going on a date with Madara, kissing him... Natsume slowly starts to accept the situation. But what happens when Tanuma enters the picture?

**Rating: **T

**Warning:** Male x male. Tanuma might be a bit OOC, sorry.

**A/N:** I was thinking. I know it would be better if I could update more often, so... maybe I should write shorter chapters? I don't know, because my chapters are short enough already... Anyway, I'm still looking for a beta.

As for this chapter, please do enjoy. :)

* * *

_It's scary being different. It's even scarier to admit it. And whatever I do, I have to force myself to go on. It's probably going to be painful, but – _

_I won't be alone._

* * *

Tanuma woke up early on Sunday. He was in high spirits; the sun was shining brightly and he didn't have anything to do but idle the day away. Lying in his bed lazily, he finally decided to go out and take a little stroll after breakfast. The thought didn't register in his mind directly, but truth to be told, he was hoping to run into Natsume. It would make him really happy if they could have some sweet buns together.

It wasn't that unlikely to bump into the boy, since Natsume was outside a lot with his fat cat, chasing after spirits, or, most of the time – chased by them instead. Tanuma looked up to him; the boy had a tough life, but never complained, just tried not to cause trouble to others instead. Maybe he was too reserved sometimes.

The streets were practically empty. Tanuma was walking slowly, taking his time, while whistling cheerfully to himself. He was grateful for the nice weather, and felt like he was capable of doing anything that day.

Suddenly, he noticed Natsume in the distance.

''Hey, Natsu – ''

His voice died down as soon as he saw the boy had company: he was with a rather hideous man. Tanuma just stood gaping.

He contemplated going up to them and saying hello, but somehow the man irked him. It was obvious they were heading to Nanatsujiya. _They are having sweet buns together. _– He realized. _Maybe I should just... _

Tanuma shook his head vigorously. _Why should I evade them? It's not like they are on a date, or anything..._

He started sweating heavily all of a sudden. However, he just laughed it off. _No way, what am I thinking? They are both guys! Guys don't go on dates with each other, do they? And anyway, that man is just creepy. They must be discussing some spirit-related thing, I'm sure._

With that, he went after them, but paying attention not to show himself. _I just don't feel like meeting them, that's all. It's not like I'm spying on them! That would be really low from me, no way._

_But look at that! They sure are close to each other! That man is suspicious, I just know. I don't like that look an his face at all. _

By this time they reached Nanatsujiya and went inside, which made Tanuma worry all the more.

_Dang! I can't follow them there, or else they'll see me! They would misunderstand and think I'm following them. Ridiculous! I'm just making sure Natsume's okay!_

He waited nervously outside, trying to figure out what to do next. _They are gonna be there for quite some time! What should I do?_

Fortunately he didn't have to wait for long: the strange pair left the shop after a few minutes, sweet buns in hands, conversing cheerfully.

The man touched Natsume's shoulder gently while explaining something enthusiastically. Natsume blushed at the touch.

Tanuma could feel his own cheeks redden. He wanted to walk up to the man and yell at him for making his friend feel uncomfortable. That would be his duty as Natsume's friend, he believed. _Maybe that man forced Natsume to go with him. That must be it!_

He ignored the fact they seemed to be having fun; taking a nice stroll and eating sweets.

Tanuma tailed them intently. They were heading in direction of the pond in the woods. He even watched the two of them settle down on the shore. He stopped behind a tree, eyeing them angrily from there, but making sure he couldn't be seen.

_This is pathetic. _– He told himself. – _What the hell am I doing here? And what for?_

The two of them was staring into nothingness, enjoying the nice weather and agreeable company. Time seemed to stall; Tanuma couldn't help but feel like an intruder; hot, white guilt burnt his throat. Spying on a friend – a thing only the lowest of the low would do. He knew he should leave, but somehow, he couldn't; no matter how much he wanted to.

_If only I had asked him to hang out with me today..._

So what would have that solved? Would Natsume be looking at him like that now, instead of that outrageous man? Would he be...

The harmony between those two was too much; it was killing him.

He perked his ears; they started talking at last. He was too far, so he couldn't actually hear them, even so, he tried his best.

Natsume started eating, causing the man to burst out laughing at the exact same time. _What the hell are they doing?_ Since he couldn't hear anything, everything was incomprehensible to him. The man suddenly bit into the other side of the bun – Natsume's face was now mere inches apart from his face...

It felt cruel, as if something was gripping his heart. Tanuma shuddered. No matter how hard he wanted to deny it, he had to accept the fact now: those two were more than just friends to each other. It was obvious. He had to accept it. He knew that all along, but he couldn't...

_I have to. I have to. I have to...!_

When those two distant, foreign mouths met, Tanuma turned his back on them, never looking back. He ran home with a blank look on his face, heart thumping hard.

* * *

Natsume was soaking in the bath, buried deep in his thoughts. The weekend had been interesting to say the least – basically everything that happened lacked common sense, so he was confused, and had a lot of things to think about.

His pet, Nyanko was a spirit in disguise, who could take any kind of human form. Since he was male, he took a liking to his human male form, and now was feeling something for his... umm... owner. _This is just so wrong... - _Natsume thought.

_Complicated. _He sighed. _I may be the only person in the world who goes out with his own pet._

Natsume's eyes widened. _Going out?_

The realization finally clicked in. _Okay, let's face it... I'm going out with Madara now. But we're both male! Two men can't just 'go out', and..._

He bit his lover lip in frustration.

_We've already kissed... That means..._

He blushed.

_So we're going out now, I see. _He tried hard to process this unbelievable piece of data, tasting the words in his mouth.

''I'm going out with Madara... We're going out. That's right. He's my... bbb – ''

''Impossible.'' He sighed. It just felt weird, no matter how many times he tried, he couldn't do it. At least not now. He wasn't the kind of boy who looked down on others for being different. He never really thought about same-sex relationships before, but truth to be told, he had never thought about heterosexual relationships, either. Yes, he was confused right now; but wouldn't he be confused if _that person_ was a girl, too? He had to realize he knew nothing about love whatsoever.

In fact, he was just an ordinary boy, afraid of changing and afraid of feeling something entirely new. It could take years for him to be worthy of calling himself a man. Becoming adult takes experience, pain and giving up on things. There are occasional delights, of course, too. It'd be a long, difficult journey, the goal far off in the future, the path paved with hardships.

However, it's not the goal but the journey itself which is important. And he had to take the first step on that journey; the first step, which would be followed by countless – by no means easier – ones.

And it seemed he would take that journey with Madara by his side. That is to say, he wouldn't be alone from now on; there would be him to help Natsume overcome the obstacles on his way.

_That's it! _He thought. _That's the way I can understand this! Madara's somebody who's helping me on my way. Somebody who's accompanying me!_

He was proud of himself for sorting out these difficult thoughts. And he was content – for now at least. Things would change, he knew that, but for now, his ''definition'' of Nyanko could be used.

* * *

At first, it was awkward for both of them: Natsume entering the room, lying down on the futon with the silent Nyanko watching, then turning in together. Side by side.

Unusual situation, it was: people aren't supposed to sleep together in the same bed before deepening their feelings for each other.

Natsume promptly turned the lights off. ''Good night."

_How can this be so different than it was yesterday, or even before that?_

''Good night, Natsume.''

The boy closed his eyes. _Wonder if I'll ever get accustomed to this..._

He was starting to make himself comfortable, when Nyanko spoke up.

''Natsume.''

''Yes?'' His eyes snapped open, looking for his cat in the dark, but of course, he couldn't see anything.

''Thank you for today.''He murmured. ''I didn't have this much fun since... well, being with Reiko.''

''Did you two get on well?''

''You know what I think? First impression is nothing – ''

''I see.''

''After we went through some things together, we just started getting on, you know?''

Natsume smiled.

''Yes.'' Nyanko continued. ''We got closer as time went on. She was really nice.''

''I wish I could have known her.'' Natsume said, wondering. ''I wish I could have seen her with my own eyes...''

The boy waited for some reply, but Nyanko refused to say anything. They stayed silent for minutes, minutes which dragged on.

''Good night, Natsume.''

''...good night.''

* * *

Tanuma couldn't sleep that night. His mind replayed that hated scene he felt like he could never forget: that strange man kissing Natsume. He tried to find a solution, but apparently he couldn't think of any. His mind knew that Natsume wasn't forced to do anything, of course: he couldn't miss that happy face he made. So what could he, Tanuma, a mere friend of the boy do? Tear them apart? Tell Natsume's guardians about the man? Report him to the police?

He could easily do either of these, but he wouldn't. Tanuma was suffering because even though he knew of ways to make his nightmare stop, he would never make Natsume sad. Who was he to take the boy's hard-earned happiness away?

Morning came, and found one Tanuma deprived of sleep, without any questions having been solved.

_For now... I think I'll go and talk to Natsume. I'm his friend, I just need to know. If he really loves that man, and if he's happy, then I'll step back and keep my mouth shut._

He was determined to let Natsume go in the worst case scenario.

That day was pure hell. Time seemed to slow down, and he saw everything in slow motion. His classmates were giving him even weirder looks than usual. _I must seem to be really desperate now..._

When the bell rang to lunch break, he stood up abruptly from his seat, and hurried to Natsume's classroom without looking at anybody or anything. He was unwavering and nothing was going to stop him.

He was looking around for the boy as soon as he entered the classroom. When he caught glimpse of him, his heart skipped a beat.

_Natsume... _

The boy was seemingly no different than before – bittersweet smile on his face, and low-key as always. But to Tanuma, he'd changed. And this time everything would be different. Natsume would tell him there's nothing going on between him and that man, and Tanuma and him would continue being... friends. This thought struck him. _Friends. Yes. We'll be friends just like before. Forever..._

''Natsume!'' He greeted him, making sure his voice didn't show any sign of his condition.

''Oh, Tanuma. What's happened? You look kind of pale.''

''Don't worry about me. Can you come with me please? I need to talk to you about something.''

Natsume thought it was odd, but he nodded in agreement, and followed the hurrying Tanuma outside.

Sasada, of course, was disappointed she couldn't eat with the boy that day. _Damn that guy! He always reserves Natsume all to himself!_

* * *

They found a peaceful corner in the schoolyard, making sure nobody could see or hear them.

Tanuma took a deep breath to calm himself down, then turned to the boy with a serious, stern look.

''Natsume, we have to talk.''

The boy looked puzzled, but also curious. _I can't even imagine what he's going to say. Maybe..._

''Is it about a spirit? If – ''

Tanuma shook his head.

''I need to know whether he's serious about you or not.'' He blurted out honestly. ''Please tell me. I promise I'll never tell anybody!''

The boy panicked. ''W-what are you talking about?''

''It's no use, Natsume. I saw you yesterday. Please don't misunderstand this, it was by accident.''

The boy was dumbfounded, his face blank and pale, a torrent of thoughts in his mind, trying to say something that'll get him out of the unfavorable situation. The sooner, the better. Should he try lying...?

''H-h-he's just my relative.'' _That's it! Keep it up! _''I haven't seen him for a while, and it was nice to see him again, so – ''

Tanuma smiled bitterly, and that made Natsume's heart sink. ''You wouldn't kiss a relative on the mouth, now would you?''

Natsume's face was by now covered with beads of perspiration. So it was no use lying to him. But how could he...?

''I'm disappointed in you, Tanuma.'' He whispered weakly, eyes glued to his feet. ''By what right do you spy on me? How could you follow me, no less?''

His anger made him raise his voice. ''It's my life, and you're nobody to have a say in it! Just leave me alone!''

''No, Natsume, it's – ''

''Will you just shut up for a minute?!''

He broke down suddenly. The anger all evaporated, and he shook with fear now. He leaned against the wall weakly, and pressed his foreahead to its chilly surface to calm himself down. Tanuma, on the other hand was speechless, his plan in shards.

_What did I do wrong? I... didn't want to hurt him... I never... It wasn't my intention... I wanted him to... _

He hesitated briefly.

''N-Natsume...'' He stepped closer carefully, and lightly touched his shoulder, the boy shuddering at the touch.

''Natsume, I'm sorry. I just... wanted to confirm you love him. That's all. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. Just... tell me you love each other! I couldn't stand him making you sad!''

The boy turned his face to him, his eyes filled with plea. ''Tanuma...''

_His eyes! Those beautiful, honey-coloured eyes... I can't! I just can't!! _Something changed in Tanuma;

He didn't think anymore. ''I bet he's just playing with you.'' He blurted out.

Natsume's eyes grew wide.

Tanuma gripped his shoulder harder, leaning even closer to the boy.

''All adults are the same. They just want to use others. And then throw them away...''

''What are you saying?'' He was dismayed. He'd never seen his friend like that; Tanuma was usually an introverted boy, always polite and nice towards people...

''Wake up, Natsume, he's just using you!''

_What am I saying? What is this feeling..._

He knew he shouldn't do it. He knew he'd regret is instantly.

And even though he could see Natsume's frightened eyes, filled with worry – worry for him – he pushed closer, and pressed his dry, cold lips to his friend's mouth.

* * *

**A/N:** A cliffhanger, sorry. I know where this story is going, but the chapter would have been too long if I'd squeezed everything into this. So... this'll have to do now. I hope you enjoyed chapter 4, and please look forward to the next installment of the story!

~ Until next time, Zurelily


	5. Jealousy And Love Are Brothers

**Fandom:** Natsume Yūjinchō

**Pairing:** Nyanko x Natsume (Madara x Natsume), one-sided (?) Tanuma x Natsume

**Rating:**T

**Warning****s:** Hot guys making out, some angst – you've been warned.

**A/N:** Next chapter, we're back to canon. (More or less). By the way, this time the quote is from a song; whoever can guess which song deserves a cookie. ^^

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Natsume Yūjinchō. (You should be grateful for that :D)

Enjoy!

* * *

_,,__I'm just a painting that's still wet,_

_If you touch me I'll be smeared,_

_You'll be stained_

_Stained for the rest of your life.''_

* * *

_Tanuma's lips on my own. _

Natsume simply froze.

_Kissing another guy..._

It positively, obviously, totally, absolutely felt wrong. Another male's lips one his own; another foreign tongue seeking entrance into his mouth. Natsume had to sort out his feelings in a split second before he would do something irreversible, that is to say, kissing back Tanuma under the pressure, unconsciously.

_Tanuma is my friend. He's a guy. And this male friend of mine is pressing his lips on mine right now, trying to get into my mouth._

Somehow it was different from Madara's kisses. The boy couldn't help but wonder why. What made Madara so special compared to Tanuma? Or rather, what made his kisses... more acceptable? Both Madara and Tanuma were guys, both were his friends, so why's the huge gap?

All of this went through Natsume's mind at the same time, making it all the more confusing. No sooner had Tanuma's lips touched his own, he shoved him away.

His whole body was shaking as he was trying to recollect himself. He couldn't look at Tanuma at all. His hand was still resting on the other boy's chest; he could feel the throbbing of the boy's heart.

''Why?'' Tanuma asked wryly.

Natsume inhaled deeply, preparing himself for the worst, then looked him in the eye. Tanuma noted how his eyes were almost scary; filled with determination, unwavering.

''I'm sorry. There's somebody I like. Please don't do this ever again without my consent, or else I don't know what will happen to our friendship. ''

Tanuma was simply shocked. Upon the rejection, he brushed his friend's hand off of him, almost as if he could no longer stand the proximity.

''Is he really that special compared to me?''

Natsume, however, stood still under the light of those interrogating eyes.

''I don't think that's the question here.''

His friend fell silent.

''…I'm going out with him.'' Natsume added.

Tanuma nodded slowly. ''So I stand no chance in the end.''

They stood face to face, awkwardly staring at each other.

''Natsume, look… I-I- I still think you'd be better off without that guy. He's dangerous.''

''You don't know him.''

''Even so – ''

''You don't know anything at all.'' He went on. ''He was the first one to stay by my side. To ease my loneliness. He's… my first friend.''

Tanuma wanted to retort; to say something to shake his trust in that despicable man, to justify himself. Say something like…

''Are friends supposed to kiss their friends just like that?''

The words came out of his mouth without thinking, like water leaking from a barrel full of holes. He regretted it instantly; as he grasped the meaning of his own sentence.

Natsume's eyes grew wide.

''Ask yourself about that, will you!''

It was like a smack in the face for him; Tanuma's cheeks were burning up with embarassment.

''Natsume… I'm sorry. I don't know what's gotten into me… I've never meant to hurt you. Quite the opposite, actually. Still, I managed to hurt you badly, and make you betray your… your partner. I'm really sorry. Can you forgive me?''

The other boy looked at him severely for a bit, then just sighed tiredly.

''Let's go back to class, and forget about this, okay?''

''Natsume…!''

The boy smiled. ''It's okay. I can't be mad at you. You're my precious friend after all, no matter what you do.''

* * *

Natsume pretended everything was okay in front of Tanuma, but in the inside, nothing was 'okay'; his heart was going to jump out of his throat when he thought about Nyanko. And well, now he was thinking about the man every other second. He was clueless of what to do now. He couldn't sort out his feelings for the man yet, but understood they were more to each other than friends, and Tanuma just came and crushed this fragile peace in a flash with his selfish act.

The boy was aware it would be only fair he told Madara about Tanuma's feelings, but more importantly, about the kiss. He was afraid the man would leave and never return if he knew the truth, but…_Damn it all! Why did this have to happen? I had no intention to kiss anybody beside him in the first place…_

He didn't know what he could possibly say to the man, so he stayed out late hanging with his friends, Nishimura and Kitamoto, not paying attention to their words whatsoever, but thinking hard about what he would say when he got home and had to face the man.

Natsume took a deep breath before opening the door to the house. He apologized to Tohko-san for being late, and had small talk with his uncle. The words didn't register in his mind; he just glanced towards the stairs nervously.

''Tohko-san… De you possibly know if Nyanko is home yet?''

His guardian was busy preparing dinner, so she didn't even look back when answering.

''Oh, I'm sure I saw Nyankichi today. He must be lazing off in your room, Takashi-kun.''

''Thank you.'' Came the polite reply for the answer he had already known, but had hoped it would be otherwise if he asked. He was a fool for thinking Nyanko had gone out for a drink without even seeing him come home unharmed.

Natsume went up to his room with a heavy-heart. He entered the room cautiously, heart throbbing loudly. The cat was lying on a pillow dozing off. He opened one eye on account of the noise the boy made when he entered the room.

''You are late today, Natsume.'' He said with a look of reproach. ''I was starting to get worried. Did you hang out with Nishimura and Kitamoto?''

His voice was unusually friendly, not interrogating the boy, or anything, just inquiring, since he was interested.

The boy nodded. _Now or never. I must tell him everything. This is only fair…_

''Sensei. Could you transform into your human form, please? There's something I want to tell you.''

The cat narrowed its eyes, but didn't say anything, just did as he was told seriously.

_No good; he knows there's something off._

In a puff of smoke, the fluffy, fat cat was gone, and a white-haired, noble, mature man was sitting on the pillow, clad in an expensive looking kimono. His left hand was clutching into a traditional Japanese smoking pipe, that is to say, a _kiseru_. Natsume assumed he was left-handed.

The kiseru, which he held, was simply beautiful, and even though Natsume wasn't too knowledgeable about pipes, even he could tell it was of great value. Japanese pipes used to be status symbols back in the day, as a kiseru could tell a lot about its owner; the onlooker could tell the man's importance and social standing just by looking at his pipe. Madara's pipe appeared to be an antique, gently taken care of over the long years. The wood part of the pipe was even longer than usual, and the mouth piece and bowl was made of silver, with some subtle engravings. The wood part of the pipe was rather dark; the boy suspected it was made of expensive wood. Even though _kiseru_ have gone out of fashion a long time ago, somehow, it made Madara's figure complete.

''I guess it wouldn't be a good idea to smoke here.'' The man noted absent-mindedly, smiling warmly at the boy. He put down the antique pipe and crossed his arms across his chest.

''Now, speak up. I'm all ears.''

Natsume sat down in front of him. Took a deep breath, and then looked the man in the eye._ I'll just get straight to the point! Whatever happens, I'll know I deserved it. He's all the right to be upset…_

''Today, I made a mistake. Tanuma kissed me. And I was too late to prevent it. I'm honestly sorry.''

The boy bent down his head to the floor. ''You can go ahead and think low of me. I deserve it.''

The man's face was unreadable at this point; he didn't even blink at the sudden confession. He stood up slowly and took his time trying to smooth out the creases on his clothes. Natsume was still bending deeply.

The man finally stepped to him. ''Raise your head, Natsume.''

Natsume reluctantly lifted his head, making his eyes, full with guilt, be seen.

Madara kneeled down in front of him and kissed him full on the lips, without any forewarning. The man pulled him closer forcibly, kissing him even harder, leaving light bruises behind.

Natsume shoved him away as gently as he could. ''I c-can't breath.''

Madara, however, couldn't care less; he pulled him back into the embrace, and acquired entrance once again. His hot, wet tongue entered Natsume's sweet mouth. The two tongues clashed, Madara's easily topping Natsume's. Their saliva mixed together; it was like a bloody battle on the stormy ocean. Two battleships engaging in war; a dangerous, but magnificent display.

Natsume couldn't tell his taste apart from the man's, and Madara couldn't decide on whose intoxicating, sweet scent was making his mind catch on fire. The boy could taste the sour taste of tobacco in his mouth. It felt so sinful, but at the same time, so good. He was sure he would never give that sensation up.

Whose tongue is it? Whose mouth is it?

_I don't know anymore…_Nobody knew anything anymore, their tongues, fingers and bodies just moved on their own accord, without any afterthoughts.

Natsume's body bacame hotter by the minute; Madara pushed him down on the floor, leaning on him with his whole body, almost as if he was trying to crush him. His calloused fingers were stroking his body, making him feel even better, but at the same time, crave for more, suffer for not getting more, and struggling for air.

The man parted from him at the exact same moment. He _had_ to, or else he wouldn't be able to restrain himself. A thread of saliva was connecting them, their chin, face, cheeks and even their neck wet from the messy battle of love.

A chill of pleasure went down on Natsume's spine. _More. _His mind screamed, his hand clutching tightly into Madara's kimono, crumpling it distastefully.

They were breathing raggedly together, faces flushed with the excitement and blood. Natsume's heart was beating so loudly; he was afraid Nyanko would hear it, and make fun of him later on account of it.

Madara waited for him to regain his normal breathing, and then grinned widely.

''Sorry, I just had to overcome the mountain of jealousy building up inside.''

Natsume laughed weakly, embarrassed.

''I'm being serious here.'' The man murmured against the boy's cheeks. He licked down his throat, leaving a wet trail behind. Natsume shivered and held him even more tightly; occasional groans escaping from his mouth.

Madara came to a halt when his hands reached the boy's shirt buttons.

_Let's stop here for today. _– He thought.

He went back to Natsume's mouth and kissed him once again, trying to suck the soul out of him. He stroked the boy's blond hair affectionately afterwards, and smiled at him warmly. He rolled down off the boy, and stood up, to head back to the window.

Natsume was still panting on the floor; inhale, exhale, inhale, and exhale; noisily…

''I need a smoke.'' The man announced.

''Wait!'' Natsume protested weakly.

Madara turned back to him. ''Yes?''

''I need to hear your answer.''

''Answer…?''

''Yes. Your feelings on Tanuma kissing me. You should just… tell me honestly you're disappointed in me.''

Madara smiled. ''It's nothing like that. It's not like it was your fault to begin with. And hey, I always knew that guy would be nothing but problem.'' He winked.

''But…''

''Well, okay. Of course I'm mad. I'm mad because I couldn't save you. Save you from something you'd never wanted. And I hate that guy because he made you feel guilty, and most of all – I'm suffering from the jealousy and hatred towards that guy. I don't want this to happen ever again.

''Me neither.'' Natsume agreed. He sat up, and looked Nyanko in the eye.

''I'm sorry. Even though we're going out…'' He realized what he was saying, and blushed. ''Never mind.''

Madara burst out laughing. _Too cute!_

He bent down to him to ruffle his hair.

''Thank you for being here. By my side, always.'' He kissed the boy on the temple gently, and then headed back to the window.

''Now, if you'll excuse me, I need this lust of mine taken care of.''

The boy looked at him with a puzzled look.

''I need a smoke. You didn't think anything perverted, now did you?''

''What?! Just go and never come back, would you!'' The boy shouted, trying to hide his embarrassment. (His red, oh so red cheeks gave him away instantly.)

Madara just laughed at him, even when the boy threw a pillow at him. Hard.

''I'll be back by dinner. Wait for me, okay?''

* * *

''…_so turn around, walk away  
Before you confuse the way we abuse each other  
If you're not afraid of getting hurt  
Then I'm not afraid of how much I hurt you…''_

* * *

**A/N:** That's it for now, guys. Thanks for reading! I'm really sorry about the short chapter, but I've been working on chapter 'let's do _it_, Natsume' (that's the code name, guys :D), which will be really, really long, I can guarantee it.

Also, before I forget to mention it: I'll put up a poll on my profile with the question of whether you want this story's rating to go from T to M (Mature). Please think about it and vote, I'll write Natsume's and Madara's first time together accordingly. The poll will be open for a long time, so you can take your time.

(And this is totally off-topic, but I started learning Japanese, and I love it 3)

For more information on traditional Japanese pipes, google 'kiseru'. You'll see some beautiful pipes, trust me!


End file.
